In Control

Happiness

A famous Greek philosopher named Aristotle once said that ‘happiness depends upon ourselves.’ What he said had a lot of sense back then, and still does today. We make our own happiness and we can choose to be happy or unhappy with what we have. You are able to find happiness within yourself because you shouldn’t make the mistake on depending on anyone else for your happiness. I think this is what Aristotle wanted us to interpret when he said that.

I don’t think that in the memoir The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon quite understands what this means, but he gets to do it after various and constant shifts of emotions throughout the book. Brent includes a lot of different attitudes towards his situation during the book. 

We do get something from him, it’s that he really liked the Intensive Care Unit. When he has to move to the normal rooms he feels very nostalgic. Even when he only starts thinking about his rehab hospital in Delwaere he starts by being excited and he says that it will be good for him the he ‘will be happy’ and that he will ‘make new friends and try new things’ pg 113.

He doesn’t really mean it because he doesn’t understand how he can be happy in another place that is not the hospital. He ‘doesn’t want to leave’ in page 113 followed by a ‘Don’t make me leave’ which makes us appeal to his emotions and makes us feel sad for him, and this is exactly what he is trying to do because he quickly dismisses the thought of being said and starts being annoyed and throws some f-bombs ‘fuck it, its fucking useless.’ That is the moment when he knows that he is not going to be able to convince anyone and that eventually he is going to have to face reality and attend the rehab and leave the hospital.

What is interesting is that later on the same page he starts to be really sarcastic ‘Hey, Mom. Guess who tried to kill themselves a bunch of other times besides the one you know about? That’s right, me.’ The he starts using the word and very repeatedly showing us how nervous he is about the fact that he has to tell his mom about everything he has tried doing in the past.

It is curious that in only one page we are able to really understand all the emotions he goes through in just a few minutes of his life. Right now he doesn’t understand the meaning of happiness. He thinks that he will only find it in this hospital and that he will be uncomfortable even in his own home.

‘Yeah, lets go home,” I say

“Home?”

‘I mean the Unit.” –page 164

In only four months the unit has become his home.

Even if he does experience joy outside the hospital he doesn’t understand why and he just prefers to go back to his room, at the hospital.

As soon as Brent understands that he is the one that controls his happiness and how he feels he will find happiness within himself. He needs to be in control.