Personality Gets the Heart

Regret. 

I regret going out last night. I regret fighting with my sister. I regret that I didn’t stay in AP Chemistry. I can say, that I regret all those things right now, and if I probably think about it for a while, I would find lots of things that I have regretted doing for a long time. Because I have, done a lot of things that I regret, but I understand that the people who love me, will love me even if I make mistakes or decisions that I will later regret. They love me for who I am and not for what I look like. I am not a very self-conscious person, and I can say that with confidence because even if I have felt that someone is better than me in many ways, maybe at soccer or at art, I still know that if maybe they are smarter at math, maybe I’m smarter at history.

Okay, so what am I getting too? I think we have all experienced the, “Oh s*!@t I look horrible in that picture” or the “Agh I don’t like how this shirt fits me. Especially girls, can understand where I come from when I say that. In the memoir The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon he is very self-conscious about his looks. He thinks that because of how he looks no one is ever going to love him, and he is wondering about that throughout the book.

“Mom, no one’s ever going to love me, are they?” says Brent in page 70 like if he were sure of this that he is saying and that there was in fact, no way that nobody would ever love him. He doesn’t even look at himself when he looks at the mirror and he says that he “tries not to look at his face” in page 180 and if he doesn’t want to look at himself, he obviously doesn’t want other people to look at him either, this is why in page 70 he says that he is going to live in a basement when he is older so no one has to look at him. This is normal for him to think about, his future and everything, but people are sometimes very superficial, and I would like to include myself in that group, because it might seem wrong but it’s the truth. People sometimes just think of what they look on the outside but they always forget that ‘Beauty gets the attention, but personality gets the heart.’

He is constantly repeating that he really regrets that he “shouldn’t of done that” pg 185 meaning that he shouldn’t of burned himself and that he should’ve stopped earlier. He worries a lot about this, and it is normal, because he does not yet understand that people fall in love with what kind of person you are right now and they don’t care about your past mistakes and they don’t care what you look like.